something i saw today got me thinking.

i was a the interchange today, waiting for the bus to my gran's. there i saw a middle aged woman looking at her newly bought pair of faux diamond ear rings. then, i thought to myself. will i be contented if i were her? or would i want more than just that? if a girl like me, at my age. thinks that, no that is not enough. where's the quality in life like this? then. i dont know what. neither am i fit to coment on others lives. but i know, i wont want to live like that.

am i to be blamed for being so materialistic? i dont know.

my next question was. how am i go about achiving the life that i want? a life in comfort and luxury? yes, marry a rich man. but where will i put my pride, spending someone else's money? no. i wont want that. i wont want to be dependent on someone else. like no. so that leaves me with the only route, that is to study hard, get a place in uni, then find a high paying job. right, end of story.

but what if. what if. i dont achive what i set out to do? i wont be able to give my parents the kind of life they have given me. the best. the best of their mights. making sure that i have everything other kids have and sometimes even better. i would want to give them the life they have given me, or even better. but what if things dont go out the way i want them to? they will have to suffer with me throught out their old age wont they? having wasted all their resources on me, when they could have saved for old age. how, then?