Ask not what your friends would do for you, but what you would do for your friends.

I recall saying, 'Given a second chance, I would do things another way, a different way.' How true is that exactly? I have been given second chances before. Take the advancement from JC1 to JC2 for an example. I told myself, if I were to be advanced, I would put in DOUBLE the effort in my studies. And, that did not happen.

Daddy, was giving me a prep talk over dinner. As much as he says, its okay as long you have tried your best, I can tell that he really wishes for me to do well and get into a university. Partly because he wants me to finish something that he has always wanted to achieve but never got to. And because, he wants me to do well, because he is my father.

How guilty can I be? So guilty, that it would be my drive towards acing the A Levels? Time will tell.

Jelly, asked me some questions today that really got me thinking.
How well do I actually know my friends and understand them? Actually, do I even make the effort to? What kind of person am I?
It also reminded me of somethings I never want to recall ever again. Never. I'm actually quite okay to talk about it, but I would not tell you what happened. There are somethings, that I am unable to face with yet. Maybe one day, when I can talk about it openly, I would be a happier person.

My choice. My responsiblity.

To my dearest friend, WenJie: Happy Belated Eighteen!

Its been a while.

Don't you think that life is just like a theater production? A show put up to please one another (people watching, celebrations, etc.), ourselves or perhaps the almighty one above. I was in math tutorial today, when I realised this disappointing reality of life. Looking at Mrs Koh, I felt as though, I was in a play, with Mrs Koh, doing this one lady show. Trying her entire best, to engage us in her act. I don't mean anything mean though.

Why do we prepare to go to school. Why do we sit for exams? Because it would ensure us better roles in future plays? Starring Jessie Choo as the medicine undergraduate. Starring Jessie Choo as the Cardiologist. But, there won't be an end to it will there? Why can't we be contented being seventeen? And stop there? Oh. Hold on. I just turned eighteen. Fantastic. It is not realistic, because, time won't stop. Not for any one for that matter. So I know, that it is not discriminating against me. Thank God.

Given a second chance, i would have done things another way. A different way. But, the problem is that second chances hardly surfaces. Another lesson learnt, do not do anything rash. Think before you act, Jessie.

I am mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. It would have and will help if you were there, like you were before.

i can't open some browser just because im using a mac. it says, please use internet explorer instead. wtfffffff.

screw it man. im going to bed.

its scary how things all end so fast. it seems like just yesterday that i chanced upon the tpjcanoeing poster around school and decided to try out.

it has ended. my canoeing career. all the effort, time have all gone up in smoke. have it?

it just kills me to know that, even though we gave our best. best, we still didnt make it, we still ended up slower than what? srjcanoeing? OMG. that i cannot accept. what the fuck? we are that effing slow?

whatever. its the end. thank God.

im relieved that i dont have to put up with things that i have been putting up with. seriously.

THANK GOD.

I'm feeling pretty emotional today. However, i cannot seem to organise my thoughts well enough to express myself in words. Nevertheless, i shall give it a shot.

We celebrated Mr. Chua's thirty-seven birthday today. The entire senior team was present in full strength. lt is a rare ocassion that everyone would be there to bless us with their presence, because some people would always miraculously vanish right after training.

One. I really enjoyed the feeling of being in a team where we press on and push each other towards a common goal. It is something that i did not exactly experience in chinese dance, or students' council. There was too much politics for my liking. As i soaked into tonight's fun and laughter, questions popped out at the back of my mind. 

How many more gatherings like this are going to happen in the future? Are we even going to be in contact anymore after we graduate? Would we turn into strangers we would not even say Hi to on the streets. Would friendships that we have just go up into smoke?

What exactly does the future have installed for us?

Thats it, I'm not only a loser, I'm also a pessimist.

We are all moving too fast forward, stop and take a good look around you. You would realise that things are not the way you've remembered, or thought they were to be.

I was staring out of the window on bus 36 today, on my way to meet my parents for dinner. Strangely, nothing seemed familiar to me. I can might as well be in Hong Kong. Though it was nothing to the extreme of being alien, but it just did not seem like home. It is not just the new physical surroundings. How long has it been since you have taken a good look at your parents. A good long while isn't it? Daddy looked like he has put on 20 years worth of wrinkles and half a head full of white hair. He also no longer has that huge appetite for food that I inherited. Mummy has also put on her fair share of wrinkles, minus the white hair. She has the weary look worn on her face. My parents are growing old, aging. Are yours? (The expensive products, facials that my parents go for are so not working.)
What have you done, I done to cause the crease on their foreheads, what have I done to lessen their worries?


Here are the Steps taken by the Choo Family in times of Inflation.

Mr Choo- 1. Dine in places without GST, service tax.
2. Apply for memberships at stores.
3. Indulge in expensive watches.

Mrs Choo- 1.Buy in-house brands at supermarkets.
2. Ensure that daughter does not tag along during grocery shopping.
3. Keep coupons.
4. Buy expensive treads for knitting.

Miss Choo- 1. Keep ATM card at safely at home.
2. Take lesser taxis. Or at least try to.
3. Shop more during GSS.


MANY MANY THANKS TO ALL THOES WHOM HAVE REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY!

1. My pretty aunties and my cousins. Thank you for that expensive lunch and all the angpows. Thank you, Chel for the gift and the trip to you know where and we got lost. Thank you!

2. The TPJCanoeing team. Thank you for all the food that you have made me carry around and the 18 donuts. Thank you, Eunice for the card. Thank you Kahmun for the handcrafted book/card. Thank you WenJie for the stones and cookies.

3. My beloved classmates. Thank you Sab, Sheik, Kamilah for the presents! I loved it. Thank you XinYing for the Chocolates. They were lovely.

4. Cassandra and Qian. Thank you for the presents. It would be funny if we all had the same one!

5. BullionParkers. Thank you for all the well wishes! Even though, May Tan was late. Haha. Daryl was not this year!

In NUTSHELL, thank you thank you thank you. I really appreciated everything! And there is no word/phrase/sentence to express my gratitude.