Yes, I have stopped sneezing. The running nose is almost gone too, even the watery blotchy eyes. But I feel so much worse! I feel like puking out whatever that goes into my mouth, and I totally lost my appetite for food. Food completely turns me off. Apart from that, every muscle group on my body is aching. Drowsiness from the medicine is taking effect 24/7. I haven't even finish my math work for tomorrow's lesson.

In a nutshell, I feel horrible.

Between the past year and today, I have survived through many illness. Starting from eye infection to chicken pox. And now, ear infection? hello, the only sense that I have not damaged is my sense of touch. Even my taste buds have failed me.

The buzzing sound in my year is really irritating me. &*@#)(*

I like to believe in the best of people and I forgive. I hope you do too.

We cannot decide on our fates, but we can choose how we want to handle our circumstances.

As much as I love TPJC, enjoy TPJC, am going to miss TPJC, I CANT WAIT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF IT!

A Levels will be both my release, and my doom days.


Play nice. I might be mean, but i have no malicious intents. I don't bite.

ever wondered if anything and everything at all is all worth it?

june holidays are here. and im really freaking out. cause it only means that A LEVELS are also drawing closer. tell me that i will study. ensure that i do. wont you?

it is actually a pretty weird feeling to feel happy and proud of a close friend, yet have a tinge of jealousy, because you are unsure. unsure of what the future holds, unsure if you are able to accomplish what he/she/they have done. then after, comes the guilt part. where you know you should not be feeling that way about your close friend. ( see la Marcus, June, Daryl, Ivan do so well for a levels for what. now i don't know whether to be happy for you all or worried about myself. )

I don't know I don't know I don't know. All I know is that I'm apprehensive of the future.

And I want to win my bet. Watch out Marc and Ivan, bear our bet in mind.

Insecure. Thats how I feel about my entire life so far. Any harmless little thing can break me.

What makes man relationships so special and difficult is the inability to phantom the minds of the other person. If that is then, is that the exact reason why people have to be sensitive towards one another?

But, if. If the person isn't? Then how? How would you protect yourself then? Although, words do not injure one physically. It can and will do emotional damage.

Thus, I conclude that the only way to prevent yourself from getting hurt is to keep a distance away from whatever and whoever. It might seem like I'm building a fence around myself. Like Troy's impregnable fortress with tall walls that could not be breached.

In time to come, I may regret my choice. And somehow along the way, I may grow lonely and unhappy because I don't share. I may even question myself if its all worth it. And, I might just decide that it is not worth it.

However, the only thing I want is to be carefree and exuberant. Things are, nevertheless never going smoothly. They are only pushing me away from what I desire the most. This makes me ponder over what, I cant exactly pinpoint. Maybe, its time for me to move on?

Actually, I think I'm lacking in the third level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

I can never have any type of relationship with anyone. Simply because, I cannot trust anyone. It is not in my capacity to allow someone in my life fully. Because, I do not want to be hurt. I just want to be independent, to be responsible for my own emotions. I want me there as my backup to be enough. I do not want to need anyone for anything.